Die Herder

Vergewe my Willem, maar hier is my Terry Pratchet impression:

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, a little boy was reading a book about another boy in a land quite close to here. In fact, so close, it is here. Of course, to the little boy it was a land far, far away, being so far away himself.

Anyway, according to the book, there was a young man called Lemony Snicket. Ironically, he was just called Lemony Snicket, it was actually not his name at all. His name was unpronounceable, but if you listened closely, it resembled something like "Ed".

Lemony/Ed was a cunning socialite, and was often spotted at the watering holes of the land close, close nearby. Being so social, it was easy for Lemony to make friends. Friends a lot like him, in terms of social behaviour, but only few could match his endurance. Come to think of it, recently only a humble shepherd could match Lemony for endurance at the watering holes. The shepherd came from a distant village, but found the land close, close nearby to be extremely interesting and decided to stay. The shepherd settled down with a wife, previously from Transilvania, called Anel Lee Ann von Schulkwick.

Anyway, Lemony enjoyed his life much, especially the social part with the shepherd and his wife, as well as other socialites, the werewolf hunter Casparus, the tooth-fairy William of Esparagus, the farmer Chipper and the Unsinkable Netta, Baroness of Absarozia.

All was going well, until a time when some of the socialites started questioning Lemony regarding his outward appearance. Not unhandsome in any way, but slightly sloppy one might say, regarding the hair of the head. Come to think of it, the werewolf hunter Casparus often made outrageous comments about the hair, the rest impolitely snickering. How sad this was, as Lemony was beloved in all the lands, that his hair would become the object of antagonism and later, even idioms, to teach children life lessons with.

So it became unbearable, and Lemony decided to shave down the hair. The constant bickering became too much and he ordered the magic scissors to be summoned.

Luckily, the shepherd's wife was fluent in the language of the magic scissors. Or at least, they somehow understood each other. Vaguely. Nevertheless, and you can't argue with nevertheless, the magic scissors came to the shepherd's wife, and obeyed most of her commands. At least the parts of shaving Lemony. Well, his hair, of course.
So in the end all was happy, although no one saw Lemony crying in his bed late at night about his deformation, so everyone accepted him to be happy as well. In any event, the local newspapers of the land close, close nearby took photos of the summoning of the magic scissors, and printed the results. Lemony could not be reached for comments yet.......