Monday, July 24, 2006
Al jou "girlfriend" probleme opgelos....
23 WAYS TO IMPRESS YOUR GIRL
1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is say "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewellery is for pussy's and Asian ladies.
7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words fcuk you and grab the other girls arse. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."
9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.
10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop b*tching about the cold right now you're going to be b*tching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.
20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.
21. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.
22. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
23. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.
1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is say "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewellery is for pussy's and Asian ladies.
7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words fcuk you and grab the other girls arse. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."
9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.
10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop b*tching about the cold right now you're going to be b*tching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.
20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.
21. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.
22. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
23. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Net gou-gou
Hoezit almal?
Net gou vinnig ietsie voor die naweek.
Eerstens, die Nimmereindigende Storie vorder fluks, ons het al 4 outeurs. Wonner wanner mense soos Anet, Liana, Anel en so aan gaan begin help skryf?
Tweedens, die Tekken trofee is weer teruggevind!! Jeayy!! Dit beteken ons kan weer oor hom begin skop en slaan en val en so aan. Laat weet maar. Hierdie naweek is Casper actually beskikbaar vanaf Trichardt.....
En laastens, spesiaal vir Brielie wat ongelukkig is omdat ek en Ed nie so chuffed was met Superman Returns nie:
Net gou vinnig ietsie voor die naweek.
Eerstens, die Nimmereindigende Storie vorder fluks, ons het al 4 outeurs. Wonner wanner mense soos Anet, Liana, Anel en so aan gaan begin help skryf?
Tweedens, die Tekken trofee is weer teruggevind!! Jeayy!! Dit beteken ons kan weer oor hom begin skop en slaan en val en so aan. Laat weet maar. Hierdie naweek is Casper actually beskikbaar vanaf Trichardt.....
En laastens, spesiaal vir Brielie wat ongelukkig is omdat ek en Ed nie so chuffed was met Superman Returns nie:
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Superheroes het ook af dae
Ek sien Oppierims het nog nie kommentaar gelewer nie, maar ek weet hy wil baie graag. So ek sal nie sy thnder steel nie. Ek gaan net 'n hint gee: Die herder en oppierims het veel meer verwag van Superman Returns. Die hoofkarakters over act en daar is te min verander aan die persoonlikheid van Superman self (dis 'n oksimoron, ek weet. Superman is nie bekend vir sy persoonlikheid nie)
Nogtans, dis vreemd dat selfs in 2006 Superman deur mure sal kyk met sy X-ray vision maar nooit Lois Lane verder sal verken nie. Of enige ander hot chick for that matter.
Hy dra nog steeds 'n fokken belaglike rooi onderbroek bo-oor sy blou tights. Sy boots het baie ge-upgrade en sy badge op sy bors ook, maar die hele Superman suit is basies net donkerder. Arme Christopher Reeves moes laas nog met daai bekotsenswaardige helder rooi en blou speelpakkie rondvlieg. Batman en Spiderman en selfs The Hulk het in hul laaste flieks interessanter outfits gekry, maar ou Superman het selfs nog dieselfde weerbarstige krul op die voorkop. Maar o ja, dis sy vermomming; as hy sy hare kam in 'n paadjie aan die regterkant, is hy Clark Kent en kan selfs Lois Lane wat 'n kind saam met hom gemaak het hom nie herken nie. Yeah right.
Maar ek gaan te ver. Laat Eddie vir julle op sy blog verduidelik hoe Superman 'n pendeltuig van 'n boeing kan lossny met sy lazer-eyes, maar steeds nie die kaas kan sny nie, if you know what I mean...
En so gepraat van superheroes. Van ons hier in Pietersburg is ook Superheroes. Maar nie soos Superman nie. Meer soos die Fantastic 4. Sien, party van ons is bietjie groterig en effe onaansienlik, soos The Thing. Ander is weer geseënd en kan dele van hul liggame merkwaardig laat "rek". Ander is meestal invisible, veral oor naweke, en party kan spontaan vlamvat soos The Torch. Laat ek vir julle 'n foto'tjie aanheg ter verduideliking:
En dan moet daar altyd 'n villain wees in enige Superhero sage. In Superman Returns was Kevin Spacey nogal 'n heel sharp Lex Luthor. Hy is duidelik die mees ervare akteur in die fliek en is baie gemaklik voor die kamera en nie so aansitterig soos die hoofspelers nie. Anyway, in ons lewens is die villains seker maar poedels. Veral Cas gaan swaar gebuk onder die vilainess van poedels. Daarom heg ek 'n foto van die arch villain poedel.
Maar tipies van die villain wil hy my nie laat slaag nie. Die arch villain poedel weier om geblog te word. Dammit.
Dan is dit dit. Arriewarrie, maatjies, ons praat later weer. En o ja, geluk met jou verjaarsdag, Anet. Gaan groot.
Nogtans, dis vreemd dat selfs in 2006 Superman deur mure sal kyk met sy X-ray vision maar nooit Lois Lane verder sal verken nie. Of enige ander hot chick for that matter.
Hy dra nog steeds 'n fokken belaglike rooi onderbroek bo-oor sy blou tights. Sy boots het baie ge-upgrade en sy badge op sy bors ook, maar die hele Superman suit is basies net donkerder. Arme Christopher Reeves moes laas nog met daai bekotsenswaardige helder rooi en blou speelpakkie rondvlieg. Batman en Spiderman en selfs The Hulk het in hul laaste flieks interessanter outfits gekry, maar ou Superman het selfs nog dieselfde weerbarstige krul op die voorkop. Maar o ja, dis sy vermomming; as hy sy hare kam in 'n paadjie aan die regterkant, is hy Clark Kent en kan selfs Lois Lane wat 'n kind saam met hom gemaak het hom nie herken nie. Yeah right.
Maar ek gaan te ver. Laat Eddie vir julle op sy blog verduidelik hoe Superman 'n pendeltuig van 'n boeing kan lossny met sy lazer-eyes, maar steeds nie die kaas kan sny nie, if you know what I mean...
En so gepraat van superheroes. Van ons hier in Pietersburg is ook Superheroes. Maar nie soos Superman nie. Meer soos die Fantastic 4. Sien, party van ons is bietjie groterig en effe onaansienlik, soos The Thing. Ander is weer geseënd en kan dele van hul liggame merkwaardig laat "rek". Ander is meestal invisible, veral oor naweke, en party kan spontaan vlamvat soos The Torch. Laat ek vir julle 'n foto'tjie aanheg ter verduideliking:
En dan moet daar altyd 'n villain wees in enige Superhero sage. In Superman Returns was Kevin Spacey nogal 'n heel sharp Lex Luthor. Hy is duidelik die mees ervare akteur in die fliek en is baie gemaklik voor die kamera en nie so aansitterig soos die hoofspelers nie. Anyway, in ons lewens is die villains seker maar poedels. Veral Cas gaan swaar gebuk onder die vilainess van poedels. Daarom heg ek 'n foto van die arch villain poedel.
Maar tipies van die villain wil hy my nie laat slaag nie. Die arch villain poedel weier om geblog te word. Dammit.
Dan is dit dit. Arriewarrie, maatjies, ons praat later weer. En o ja, geluk met jou verjaarsdag, Anet. Gaan groot.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Okay, Okay, voor iemand my bliksem.....
Dan sal ek nou maar 'n ou ietsietjie blog, want ek hoor die skares daar buite raak ongeduldig dat die herder nou nie meer aandag gee aan sy blog nie.
Ek hoef natuurlik geen redes te gee nie. Maar ek sal, want ek wil, so ek gaan, want ek kan:
Eerstens het Eddy se blogs die afgelope tyd sewe soorte blou vlieënde crap met kolle op uit my depress. Ek wou sê dat ek nog geen ou so erg sien sulk en onnodiglik filosofeer het oor 'n 17 dae skippie wat met boeg en seile en alles op die rotse loop stukkend moer het nie, maar toe onthou ek: ek is gewaarsku. Ou Cas en die Saint het al voorheen vir my duidelik laat verstaan, dat as ou Ed eers op 'n skippie klim (en ek hoor hierdie skippie het sommer gou-gou gewip-wip op stywe brandertjies) dan geniet hy die sout seeluggie so terdeë dat hy sommer vergeet hy't 'n crew, en dat hy nogal geneig is om sy trots totaal by die cot uit te gooi as die skippie sink. Dis reg, Ed, ek kan darem getuig dat dit al heelwat beter met jou gaan, so ek is nie meer depressed nie, so ek blog weer.
En so gepraat van goed uit 'n cot gooi, dis seker net reg dat ek op my blog die nuus sit. Wat teen hierdie tyd al ou nuus is, maar omdat die Saint op sy blog skimp daarna en my so soortvan verplig om iets te sê, sal ek nou maar aan my blog lesers net weer bevestig:
"Ja, ek en Anel verwag ons eersteling, en hy/sy sal teen so Februarie sy/haar pienk voetjies in ons huisie rond skop." (Luister na applous.) Ek heg 'n ou foto'tjie aan van die eerste sonar. Nie dat mens iets kan uitmaak nie, maar ek sal 'n beter een later opsit.
Daarom is ek nou nog meer tuis as voorheen, Anel kan obviously nie meer die rook daar in Gamblers trotseer nie. Ek en Ed was nou die aand weer daar (dankie Anel) maar dis maar soos altyd: 'n ou staan daar rond, dans soos 'n flamink wat gif ingekry het en gaan huis toe. Nietemin, ek sal net vir entertainment value vir Ed so twee foto'tjies aanheg, om Gamblers te vergeet en om so bietjie te onthou hoe dryfbaar sy skippie was. Sorry ou, ek moes net.
Ek hoef natuurlik geen redes te gee nie. Maar ek sal, want ek wil, so ek gaan, want ek kan:
Eerstens het Eddy se blogs die afgelope tyd sewe soorte blou vlieënde crap met kolle op uit my depress. Ek wou sê dat ek nog geen ou so erg sien sulk en onnodiglik filosofeer het oor 'n 17 dae skippie wat met boeg en seile en alles op die rotse loop stukkend moer het nie, maar toe onthou ek: ek is gewaarsku. Ou Cas en die Saint het al voorheen vir my duidelik laat verstaan, dat as ou Ed eers op 'n skippie klim (en ek hoor hierdie skippie het sommer gou-gou gewip-wip op stywe brandertjies) dan geniet hy die sout seeluggie so terdeë dat hy sommer vergeet hy't 'n crew, en dat hy nogal geneig is om sy trots totaal by die cot uit te gooi as die skippie sink. Dis reg, Ed, ek kan darem getuig dat dit al heelwat beter met jou gaan, so ek is nie meer depressed nie, so ek blog weer.
En so gepraat van goed uit 'n cot gooi, dis seker net reg dat ek op my blog die nuus sit. Wat teen hierdie tyd al ou nuus is, maar omdat die Saint op sy blog skimp daarna en my so soortvan verplig om iets te sê, sal ek nou maar aan my blog lesers net weer bevestig:
"Ja, ek en Anel verwag ons eersteling, en hy/sy sal teen so Februarie sy/haar pienk voetjies in ons huisie rond skop." (Luister na applous.) Ek heg 'n ou foto'tjie aan van die eerste sonar. Nie dat mens iets kan uitmaak nie, maar ek sal 'n beter een later opsit.
Daarom is ek nou nog meer tuis as voorheen, Anel kan obviously nie meer die rook daar in Gamblers trotseer nie. Ek en Ed was nou die aand weer daar (dankie Anel) maar dis maar soos altyd: 'n ou staan daar rond, dans soos 'n flamink wat gif ingekry het en gaan huis toe. Nietemin, ek sal net vir entertainment value vir Ed so twee foto'tjies aanheg, om Gamblers te vergeet en om so bietjie te onthou hoe dryfbaar sy skippie was. Sorry ou, ek moes net.
